save a life
by kosaki
Summary: Some people have trouble finding their happiness, and some people lose their life before they are even able to find it.


**CELESTIALMAGE HAS JOINED THE CHATROOM.  
****AllFiredUp: **How are you feeling today, Luigi?  
**CelestialMage: **Fine. And I've told you this plenty of times: it's Lucy!  
**AllFiredUp:** Hey, I know. I'm just messing with you.  
**CelestialMage:** Of course. You always are, aren't you?  
**AllFiredUp: **That's definitely not true! I'm not always talking to you.  
**CelestialMage:** That does NOT help your case, Natsu!  
**CELESTIALMAGE HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM.  
****AllFiredUp: **Guess I, once again, fucked up my chance…

* * *

I'm Lucy. I have always been alone. I'm not someone who cannot handle things on their own. I've learned how to do so at a young age, but I'm still devastated.

I have never had anyone stick with me for a long time. My mother passed away when I was only ten years old. My father was always invested in his work, so before I knew it, I was just a burden in the house. The people I call my "friends" only use me and throw me away once they get what they want.

What makes me valuable? For the boys, it's my figure. For the girls, it's how I never break my promises—I will not go back on my word.

I have always been depressed. There are times when I'm happy, and there are times when I'm so angry I start feeling as though I have fire burning inside of me, but I am very sad most of the time.

My depression is what brought me to the **FAIRYTAILROOM**. There, I've met many people, but they all seem to live far away from me. Whether they live close by or not, it doesn't matter; they all seem to understand how I feel nonetheless.

But they can understand all they want. Understanding me won't stop them from leaving, yeah? Feeling like I've found an actual home because of the group won't stop me from leaving, either.

I slump myself back in my office chair, spinning myself around. It's fast enough to get me dizzy, nauseous, sick. When you go faster, it's fun, but it's bound to make your stomach upset. Is it like a roller-coaster? I have no idea what it's like to be on a roller-coaster. My parents were never able to take me, and none of my friends have ever offered to go to an amusement park. Fun, huh? Of course not.

Maybe the reason why I'm sad is I'm always negative. Always, always, always. I seem cheerful, but has anyone realized how simple it is to fake a smile for half of your life?

I sit up correctly and then sign myself back into the **FAIRYTAILROOM**. I… just want to talk to him. I want to tell him… things!

* * *

**CELESTIALMAGE HAS JOINED THE CHATROOM.  
AllFiredUp:** You're back?  
**CelestialMage:** What, were you waiting for me to return?  
**AllFiredUp: **Maybe. Would it have been weird if I was?  
**CelestialMage:**…No. I think I would have liked that a lot.  
**AllFiredUp:** You're funny, Luce.  
**AllFiredUp:** You seem kind of down. How may I help you this time?  
**CelestialMage:** I don't think you can.  
**CelestialMage:** …  
**CelestialMage:** Do you think there's happiness for everyone?  
**AllFiredUp:** I think so, yeah. Are you having trouble finding yours?  
**CelestialMage:** A bit.  
**CelestialMage:**Have you found yours?  
**AllFiredUp:** Yeah, I have. I'm glad I found it, too.  
**CelestialMage:** Would you mind… telling me?  
**AllFiredUp:** I guess not.  
**AllFiredUp:** I found it in you.  
**CelestialMage:** And that means—?  
**AllFiredUp:** Probably.  
**CELESTIALMAGE HAS LEFT THE CHAT.**

* * *

He didn't know that he would never hear back from her again, but after a few days, he saw the **FAIRYTAILROOM** talking about her. Someone who lived near her read about her in the local newspaper. She ended her life that night, the night he (pretty much) confessed, with a chair, some long rope, and her strength—all because of her depression.

His heart was torn to pieces, because he lost what was truly important to him: his happiness. And the next day, he took his own life, shooting himself in the head with the gun he used for hunting.

His only regrets were being unable to see her smiling face at least once, so he prayed that he would be able to see it up in heaven, and being unable to save a life he cared so, so much about.


End file.
